── doberman  ·  identity

LOOKS LIKE A BODYGUARD. BEHAVES LIKE A BARNACLE.

SEVENTY POUNDS. STILL A LAP DOG.

For the Doberman owner who was promised an intimidating guard dog and received a seventy-pound barnacle instead. He looks like security at a nightclub and behaves like a toddler who has just heard a noise. Strangers cross the street. He would like them to come back and say hello.

Printed on demand. Ships in 3–5 business days. Returns within 30.